cheeky bugger

I keep pinching myself to see if Im dreaming but following the recent Home and Garden Show in Whitehaven, I noticed a new phenomena. Its was that there were no complaints or even acidic comments. Thats the first time in the 16 years Ive been torturing myself to put these events on that no one has disliked it, or put another way, everyone liked it. Ive puzzled over why and the only conclusion I can come to is that people who are genuinely interested in Homes, Gardens and cookery tend to be more happy and accepting. Long may it last.

Those of you who came may have bumped into my old friend Oz Clarke, wine expert and raconteur second to none. In all the years Ive known him, Id never heard him speak so I sneaked into one of his talks and he somehow managed to get from the topic of New Zealand Sauvignon to a woman setting fire to her breasts! He is a superb talker and very entertaining so if as he insists we must, we get him back next year snap up any opportunity to get into his talks.

The whole weekend saw a galaxy of famous faces slain by their new found love for the town as many others before them had been. Charlie Dimmock was perhaps the single most popular new celebrity. To be honest Charlie lights up a room with her charm and wit, the fact that she is also an expert in her field is just a nice bonus. Of course we also had old favourites Sean Wilson and Jean Christophe Novelli. Jean and his chef friend Felice turned up at our house on the thursday night to cook tea and without giveing too many secrets away, it was sublime. Ive never experience a michelin star meal before so to have my first one in the house was special. Just to make the night even better, renowned Gardener Toby Buckland turned up just in time for dessert and 'selfies' with my daughter Brenna. Trust me, if Carlsberg did takeaways they would have looked like thursday night!

The weekend was more than just celebrities however, it was first an foremost our first real attempt at a dedicated retail event and as such it was a huge success. For the first time since we started the events in 1998 we seemed to have cracked the curse of Fridays and drew a massive crowd for our stalls of which there were over 140. The Home and Garden Show was of course planned originally around St Nics Gardens and while the main focus of the event headed to the harbour, we did manage to get enough volunteers to completely weed all the beds and to replant them with a cracking donation of bedding plants from Bloomfield Nursery, Lowca. On that score, by the way, Charlie Dimmock was helping volunteers plant when one cheeky bugger walked past, pulled out a viola and walked off with it in a plastic bag! If she had asked nicely Id have given her two.

Anyway, sorry for the gap in blogs but myself and the wee team have been doing  our swan act trying to keep the wheels on the events in recent weeks but we now have a massive gap or three weeks to write lots of thanks you letters, pay the bills and relax before it all starts again with tall ships.

Time for a cuppa I think.

What a wonderful day

Parade day in Whitehaven May 6th and my alarm ie Mrs R went off at 6am which felt like the night before to me but hey ho there were lots of things to do if the day was going to be successful. I opened the shop at 06:30 which was a record even for us and by 06:35 I was attaching bunting to anything that stayed still for more than 5 minutes much to the annoyance of the Harbour Geese who took it on themselves to act as a protest group this mornng. Its the first time Ive ever looked at them and imagined an orange stuck up their jacksie while they finish off on Gas mark 2. I spent a lovely 30 minutes moving goose poo 10 foot to the right away from the parade area much to the chagrin of my lovely shoes.

Next came dressing the dias for which Im eternally grateful to Focus Scaffold for making. I purchased two Navy Blue sheets from Wilkos the day before to cover the stage but dint realise until Mrs R and Mike Briggs from Babcocks were fitting it that Id bought fitted sheets with elasticated ends. Great on your bed but dreadful when the aim is to make the Lord Lieutenant look like Lieutenanty. Still, its amazing what can be achieved with tie wraps and gaffer tape although I can assure you the public got a far better view of it that the VIP's!

Just about the time we were finishing the Dias, I got a call from the Red Devils wanting to know where their safety boats were (having a cuppa in the marina office as it turned out as they werent on duty for another half hour) while the navy were informing me that the Colour party (the chaps with rifles) were just arriving and could I say hello. While on my way to say hello I was asked to give a second interview with BBC Cumbria then a quickie (sadly not sexual) with CN group meaning that by the time I got to the Bulwark Quay to say hello the Lads had somehow passed me on their way to the Sugar tongue to catch me instead. Still, it made me look really attentive as I was there just as the Royal Marine Band arrived rapidly followed by the RAF so I pretended it was all pre arranged that I would welcome them and smiled as they all said how wonderful the personal touch was. By this time I was starting to feel confident that all would go well and headed off for a meeting with our volunteer marshalls and security staff at event HQ (remember the corridor on the way to the toilet in Richardons). 20 minutes later we were heading off to the South Harbour with security and Marshalls to explain the changes to parade orders that I had only heard about a few hours earlier but feeling confident that nothing could go wrong only to find the place swarming with public so desperate to watch the parade that they were taking up residence in the actual parade ground. It was about the same time that I realsised that the people who had parked their cars on Quay Street really did intend to leave them there through the parade rather than pay for parking and allow for decent photos by Joe Public. The selfishness of some will never surprise me these days!

Before I knew it, time was flying and it was 30 minutes to the parade step off. I was due to be at the Exhibition to escort Johnson Beharry VC and the Lord Lieutenant onto Lowther Street but got to the foot of the street and found that they had used common sense and taken care of it themselves. The walk down King Street with a true national Hero and watching the amazing reaction from the schools was something I will never forget. Ive paid for celebrities less popular than this guy! Anyhow, by the time we got back to the Waterfront which we were using as a base for the VIP's, the crowd had completely cleared the parade area ad we could hear the lovely tones of the Royal Marines Band getting louder by the minute, followed by a rumbling clapping noise that really warmed the heart. Anyway, the next few minutes flew by and before I knew it, parade inspections were done and the speeches started and I inched my way through the crowd to the sound van to ask them to up the volume considerably. On the way back to my previous location which for some reason I felt compelled to head to the Petty Officer in charge of the Royal naval Colour Party came over with a really serious look on his face and I thought Ohh shit, whats happened. Mr Richardson he whispered into my ear, the commodore said you would probably be good for a few cans of beer for the lads on the coach back! Music to my ears, by this time problems I could do without, several cases of beer, no sweat. That same team were doing some state function in London the following day so heaven knows what state they would be in if they got through all the beer we put on board that coach.

In a flash we're into the air shows and all I could hear across the harbour was Ooh, Ahh (I almost expected the crowd to add Cantona to it) as the planes did unbelievable things but the highlight for me was watching the red devils team come down with one guy sitting on top of the chute below him. How in gods name do you do that? Before I knew it I was recording a final interview with ITV and walking back to the shop to remove the bling and head home for a cuppa which rapidly turned into a bottle of wine. And that is where todays events end. A day of minor issues and major highs not least of all was sharing the town with Johnson Beharry VC a real super hero. That reminds me to say thank you to our wonderful sponsors NMP without whose unwavering support none of this would happen.

Anyway, Im writing this half cut so if you dont mind, Ill say toodle pip and complete the job.

Its a question of sanity, usually mine!

Do you sometimes feel like a casual observer in an asylum where life itself creates the walls and the rest of the populace the inmates? I do or have I got it the other way round and Im actually the inmate? The jury is out and whatever the result there's likely to be an appeal anyway.

A chap came up to me at the exhibition Marquee on thursday and asked what the exhibition was going to be about. WW1 I said hoping for an keen but quick exchange to which the gentleman who I later found out to be called Bill said, 'WW1, Im in negotiations to prevent the third world war!' Little did I know that such a high profile UN diplomat resided in Whitehaven but before I could get more of the obviously fascinating story he wandered off to see a friend in St Nics Gardens. I overheard part of the conversation in which Bills friend said, what are you talking to that nutter for? Hes only interested in becoming elected Mayor, hes crackers! Had this been a normal conversation between two well lubricated gentlemen it would have been water of a ducks back but to hear such words from two obviously intelligent gents, one of whom at least is a diplomat, well it hurt.

As for the Mayor bit, if Bills friend or anyone else genuinely thinks I'm interested in that poisoned chalice they must be smoking some good stuff. Ive been asked to declare an interest by several people now, despite writing a letter in the Whitehaven News last year removing myself as a possible candidate but the rumours persist. Why oh why would anyone, especially an independent want to stand in front of 51 hostile Councillors every month, let alone be answerable to the numerous experts who frequent local blog sites. Id rather be a cultural officer in the Ukraine. 

Anyway back to insanity, or life as I like to call it, the WW1 exhibition finally opened today despite the best efforts of yobs, the wind, a failed trench system and an over-sized marquee and by the days end weve had over 300 visitors and some lovely comments. I must remember to use a bin bag to cover the Lewis Machine gun though when crossing the road to display it. Up close, its not that realistic as its meant for kids to pick up and be photographed with but from a car in an instant glance, I must have looked like a miniature Arnold with a Lewis in one hand and a mug of tea in the other. Note to self,, grow a brain. Its always after youve hung the exhibits and opened to the public that you discover the mistakes as well isnt it such as the trench war that doesnt end until 2017 or the Royal Navy Ship called RMS Queen Elizabeth. See if your eyes correct the mistake as mine did when proof reading it?

Anyway, two short days to come and then what is possibly the biggest day of our event year, the WW1 Parade. With all three services, cadets and veterans parading, its a massive event that sadly is the last Parade we will be organising so its quite poignant for all of us at event HQ or the corridor to the toilet in Richardsons Wine shop as we like to call it. Ill keep fingers and toes crossed for a cracking turnout and a loud vocal reception for the boys and girls on parade.

Anyway, I need more meds, more wine or perhaps a combination of both so toodle pip for now and I hope to see you all on Tuesday waving the flags and cheering.